A large part of my creative process is derived from curiosity and the urge to better myself every day; the rest is serendipity. I don’t have a certain way of beginning my creative process, however I just look around and search for things that inspire me in some way. I am also fueled by the feelings I get from sights and sounds. I would like to begin with feelings, emotions and religion.
We live in a society where a vast majority of people believe, that we are all in some way governed by a higher power, say God or some equivalent of God. However there is no absolute truth that this is the case. We are a world of believers and no matter what we all believe something in some way or another. This describes the power of belief. I firmly believe that belief is the most powerful feeling or emotion that we have. More powerful than love, more powerful than hate and rivals the fact that we believe we are here, that you are reading this very sentence and that you are in some way alive.
Most of us, most of the time aren’t aware of the fact that we are nothing but memories fueled by belief. Take a look at your hands (they exist), or breath air (it, and all it entails exists), listen to the words in your mind (it, inside exists) as you read along. You’re not crazy and you’re not in disbelief that what is, is. I have spent many hours in my mind, laying down on my back, on my bed, in my room, in my casita, on this campus, in Santa Fe, New Mexico, in the USA, on planet Earth, spinning around the sun, in our Milky Way Galaxy, in what could be one of many parallel universes.
Then again, it is all just belief. Sometimes I don’t know what to believe, sometimes I feel as if I am just watching a film and the illusion of time continues to pass me by, or maybe I pass it by. Questions arise faster than I can keep up with. I like to zoom in and out of my mind, the visual and the imagination because I feel as if I am lost.
All religions are controlled by man in some way or another and not all of them see the world as I do. So this breaks my trust in what they say because what these religions project is so heavily influenced by the limited human mind. What they project could just be a handful of lies forced down my throat, until I believe that 2+2=5. I believe that the answers lie inside each and every one of us, and that it is up to us to follow our hearts or we are no longer us; but rather controlled by some human power.
I know that a lot of people are controlled this way and it breaks my heart because they are unaware of the power that they may possess. We are taught that there are certain ways to perceive answers and that they all mean something in the same way. For example, if you ask a question you expect and answer. Q(uestion)+A(nswer)=S(solution), question plus answer equals solution, let’s consider this a formula. Now take that imagination and abstract it, twist it, destroy it and realize that it was just one way of perceiving an answer, in the very same way that hearing is one way of perceiving the universe.
One see’s answers can come in more ways than we can imagine. Last week something caught the attention of my mind’s eye, I took a photo of it and it almost made me cry. I still have no idea why. Then I realized that my mind’s eye must have seen something beautiful, or painful, or intriguing in a way that my rational brain could not comprehend. My mind’s eye could have been connected to my emotions and then triggered a response in my physical body, thus causing wonder and emotion. Which then turned out to be the reason I felt the impulse to photographically capture what my mind’s eyes saw, or felt. My creative process is not politically fueled. I am not trying to capitalize the art market with a plethora of hasty remarks debating Chinese rule over Tibet, or something of the like. I am simply trying to find myself, my voice and my reason for being. I will unapologetically be me and project, in whatever way I can, because I believe that this is the only way to make true self-reflective artwork.
I sometimes hold a camera, I then press a few buttons in a certain order to adjust things to my liking in order capture wavelengths, or rather record them. The visible light on the electromagnetic scale passes through the glass in my lens and hits the camera’s complimentary metal oxide semiconductor or CMOS sensor. The electromagnetic radiation passes through the optical-low pass filter and is eventually strained and sorted out through small “cup like” photosites. Each photosite is capable of collecting and recording either a red, green or blue wavelength. Even the camera is limited because each photosite can only capture one hue from the visual light spectrum, this means we only get to record 33% of what’s actually in front of us.
From there the processor takes the recorded wavelengths and smashes the colors together to create a color image. Now the whole reason I described what seemed to be added words for a longer paper, are actually what led me up to another part of my creative process. A lot of my work is derived from hours and hours of thought, sitting and imagining how things work. After learning this I really realized that we can only see a small part of the spectrum, we can only hear so much, we can only experience a small gamut of temperature and so on and so forth. Cameras can be compared to limited singularities that we created so we can capture the universe visually. So maybe our creators created us so we can be like human cameras, to perceive the universe in a 3D sort of way, for them.
I believe in different dimensions and I believe that there is a fourth and many more. Maybe our whole existence is for the sole purpose of some pan-dimensional being allowing itself to see our world and preserving it in some way we can’t really understand. Or it may be so they can look back and feel. Maybe we are all connected to all the dimensions in the very same way that telephone wires are connected to a strain of telephone poles along the highway? Maybe our souls are like the wire and each telephone pole that passes by is like another dimension? Maybe my soul is itself a pan-dimensional being, passing through my being in the 2D and 4D dimensions in either direction from the 3rd? Maybe this is why I feel so much emotion when I see something, and I know there is a certain energy there, but I can’t quite pin point what it is, because another part of my soul in the 4th dimension sees it and directly interacts with it?
I was listening to Alan Watts and he said that individually, we are something that the whole universe is doing, in the very same way that a wave is something that the whole ocean is doing. I no more know my path, than a tea leaf knows the history of the East India Trading Company. Yet the East India Trading Company wouldn’t exist without the tea in the way that it does.
So where am I going with all of this? With the cameras and the universe and the ideas that sprout from the soil that is wonder? Well I can say this, I believe I am alive and I believe that I have a purpose and everything that ever happened in all of history has a purpose, so I could do what I am about to do next. The truth is, as I explore my thoughts and my imagination what I am perceiving along that journey is what becomes my art. There is nothing more me… than me. The same goes for you, and it affects us all, in the same way that a whale swimming close to the surface of the water could create a wave twenty-five feet away. This imagined happening could cause a temperature change in the air and result in an F2 hurricane somewhere north of Madagascar.
This is my creative process and everything you just read was an example of what goes on in my mind every day. You see I have absolutely NO IDEA what I am going to do next. Because of this understanding, I focus on learning how to successfully project what is in my mind. This way, when the time comes again, I will be more prepared to express what is going on in my mind. I will always be honest with myself and push myself to have the courage to say what I need to say, when I need to say it. I will try my best to defend my work, although I think it is foolish that I have to defend it. I mean it really bugs me that we were taught to attack the art rather than to nurture it. To question the art rather than enjoy it I know I will have many problems with that in the future. I am not too worried because I see solutions that aren’t resulting in me selling myself out, but rather me having general answers for a lot of the things that I allow people to see. I will continue to be and explore the universe. Expressing my thoughts, my experiences and my dreams to fuel my artwork in order to, I guess, record who I am right now.